


War Can't Kill Love

by supercali



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Injuries, Some Fluff, Wartime AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercali/pseuds/supercali
Summary: Robert returns home in wartime, having been separated from Aaron.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from a quote I found on Google, War Can’t Kill Love, but Love Can Kill War – Helen Lagerberg
> 
> I’m fascinated by the First World War so I couldn’t resist. Probably not historically accurate but here it is.
> 
> I’ve kept Sarah alive in this because I loved her when I watched when I was younger and I’ve not seen any fics where she’s alive (not read them all yet!) and I often wonder what Robert would be like if she was. 
> 
> Certain things still happened as you’ll see and some in a slightly different way. 
> 
> As for Aaron, he's still a Livesy (you'll see why) but none of his backstory happened except for reconnecting with Chas.
> 
> Day Four of Robron Week.

_“Robert I have to go!” Robert doesn’t answer, he just pulls him back onto the bed, tight against his naked body._

 

_“We have time.” He runs his hands up his khaki covered back, the material harsh on his hands. They don’t have nearly enough time but he isn't wasting a minute of it._

 

 _“_ _My train leaves in half an hour.” Robert sighs. He knows he has to let him go, he doesn't have a choice. Nobody has a choice any more._

_“You’ll come back to me, won’t you?”_

_“Course I will. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Don’t you go getting your head turned when you’re away, will you?” Robert says nothing, just pulls him close again pressing a kiss to his lips, trying to remember every last detail because they had no idea when, or even if, they’d be together again._

_“I’ll wait for you.”_

 

****************************

 

June 1915

 

Robert stepped down off the bus and looked at the village, his home again. He pushed the memory of Aaron to the back of his mind. He couldn’t let himself think of that now. Not now he was back home, back where he had to put on a front. Here he had to be the person he used to be.

 

When Robert Sugden started medical school this wasn’t what he imagined. When he’d left home at 18, his relationship with his father in tatters he never imagined that within ten years he’d be back.

 

He could remember being fascinated with Home Farm when he was a lad, always wanting to see inside. Of course mere farmer’s sons weren’t allowed in the big house. His father had been in though, to one of the tenant’s parties, he remembered him telling his mother that it was rather fancy and it was despicable that those people had so much when he struggled to feed his three children.  He wonders what his father would think of him, running the hospital, in charge of Home Farm.

 

He guessed it wouldn’t be all that fancy now, not now it was being used as a convalescent home for injured soldiers.

 

He was going to be staying with his mother and his sister, something he wasn’t sure about. He’d missed them of course he had but he couldn’t ever forget the looks on their faces when he’d left, that they’d heard all the things his father had said about him as he walked out the door.

 

“Robert!” He turned and a smile crossed his face.

 

“Hey Sis, you missed me?” He dropped his kit and medical bag on the ground and held out his arms for his sister to fly into.

 

“You’re late!”

 

“Yeah well, trains don’t exactly run on time any more, Vic. How are you? How’s Mum?” He felt a lump in his throat at the thought of her. If he was honest he was petrified of seeing her again. They hadn’t spoken since he’d written to say he couldn’t get back for his Dad’s funeral. He’d used the excuse of an exam that he couldn’t miss but truthfully he hadn’t wanted to come hadn’t wanted to see the disappointment in his family’s faces that he hadn’t ever reconciled with his father.

 

“She’s fine. You’ll see her later, she’s over at the pub with Chastity. You remember her don’t you? Anyway her son left for the front last week and she’s taken it hard poor woman, so Mum’s been helping out.”

 

“I don’t remember her having a son?” Chas hadn’t been in the village long when he’d left but he’s sure he’d remember her having a son old enough to fight a war.

 

“Yes well it was a bit of a scandal,” He snorted because what was Emmerdale village without a scandal? “She’d left him with his father while she came here, didn’t tell anyone about either of them. They kept in touch and Aaron came to visit a few times. He even took me out to tea once. Then last week she got a letter saying he was headed to the front.” Robert felt like his heart stopped. Then he shook himself, there were plenty of people called Aaron and plenty more people who headed to the front a week ago. It didn’t mean they were the same person. Aaron had never talked in specifics about his family, not really, but then neither had Robert.

 

“You’ve turned into quite the gossip while I’ve been gone. Living in old Mrs Eagleton’s place must be rubbing off on you!” He’d liked her, she always gave him and Andy sweets when they were boys but she was the worst gossip in the village. She knew everything about everyone.

 

“We had to live somewhere. With Dad gone...” He heard the reproach in her voice, that he should have been here, should have taken care of his family.

 

“I’m sorry, Vic, I am, but you know why I left, why I couldn’t come back.” The things his father had said had stayed with Robert, scarred him long after the bruises had faded. It had taken meeting Aaron to start to change all that.

 

“I’m just saying Robert, Mum and I have made the best of what we had. Andy tries but he could only find work a couple of villages over and he’s not been the same since Katie left.”

 

Robert doesn’t want to talk about Katie, it was her after all that led to him leaving. If she had just kept her mouth shut. If she’d not walked into the barn that day and seen him and that boy together. He’d pleaded with her not to tell anyone, promised he’d put in a good word for her with Jack who didn’t think she was the right kind of girl for his precious Andy, but no she’d gone running straight to Jack. He was glad she had left his brother, despite everything he loved Andy and he would do anything to get back to how they used to be.

 

“Come on then, show me where to dump this lot. I’ve only got a couple of hours before I’m on duty.” Robert wanted to get out of the past.

 

“My brother the doctor, who’d have thought it?” Victoria teased as she led him towards the cottage.

 

“Nobody around here, that’s for sure.”

 

***********************************

 

“Oh Robert, it’s so good to have you home!” Robert sank into his mother’s embrace. It felt so good after such a long time away.

 

“I’m sorry, Mum. I should have come back sooner.”

 

“No love, you’ve made your own way in the world. I’m proud of that. You’ve always been stubborn, just like your father. Now sit, I want to hear about life in London. Such a big place! Victoria, love, bring Robert some of that cake. He’s not going to work on an empty stomach.”

 

“Vic said you’d been helping Chas?”

 

“Yes love, oh that poor woman. I feel so guilty that I have my boys safe and close by.”

 

He didn’t know what to say, knew there was always a chance he could end up in France at any time, he was an army medic after all. They always needed doctors. He couldn’t tell her that, he’d let her be content while he could.

 

“So, London? Did you have a young lady you had to leave behind?”

 

“No Mum, no young lady.” He tried to smile but all he could think about was that morning, those beautiful blue eyes staring back at him.

 

“A young man then?” Robert looked up at her, shocked. He knew his Dad had told her, he’d shouted at Robert about it in front of her but she hadn’t ever mentioned it to him. “I’m not stupid, Robert. You’re my son, blood or not. I can see you’re happier, now, tell me all about him. You can trust me.”

 

He could, he knew he could. He knew how dangerous it was for anyone else to find out but she was his mum. If he couldn’t trust her, who could he trust? It felt so good to finally open up, to tell her about his Aaron, about how it hurt so much that they couldn’t even write to each other, that he would have no idea if anything happened to him.

 

*************************

 

A week later and Robert was exhausted. It seemed like there was a never ending stream of injured soldiers coming through the doors. They seemed to have turned into a makeshift hospital now, not a convalescent home. He’d been working for 36 straight hours when it finally calmed enough for him to go back home and see his family. He wanted nothing more than to sink into a hot bath and then sleep forever but he’d have to be back in six hours to start all over again. It was like a never ending horror.

 

He let his mother lead him into the sitting room and pull off his khaki jacket, helped her untie his laces as he sank into the armchair. He could remember she would always help his Dad with his boots when he finished his work day. Victoria pressed a cup and saucer into his hand and ran her hand through his hair and he tried to smile.

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t let it get to me like this. I just feel so helpless.” It wasn’t just that. The worry for Aaron was weighing down on him, with no way of knowing anything. It was the first time in their year together that they’d been apart and it was unbearable.

 

“You’re doing your best, Robert. This whole war is terrible. Only this morning Mrs Ladderbanks heard that her grandson was missing. Now, you’re going to drink that then you’re going to go to bed and sleep and I’ll take no nonsense from you my lad.”

 

“Yes mum.” He didn't even have the energy to argue.

 

His head doesn't even properly touch the pillow before he's asleep, his hand clutched around the picture he keeps under the pillow, of a brown haired, blue eyed soldier.

 

**************************

 

“Doctor Sugden?” He looks up from the papers on his desk at the nurse standing there. He'd hoped during the lull in arriving wounded he could catch up on his paperwork. His office was his little sanctuary, looking out over the gardens. He even had a camp bed for the nights he couldn’t make it home.

 

“Yes, Belle?” He liked the young nurse, she was hard working and compassionate and one of Victoria’s friends. He took in her dishevelled appearance, her red eyes. “What's wrong?”

 

“Your sister sent a message. It's my cousin, Chas. She's hysterical and Vic wondered if you could go to her. The village doctor is busy.”

 

“Of course. Did something happen? Belle, you're upset.”

 

“She…Chas that is, had a telegram. Her son Aaron is missing.” Robert felt sick. Just the name left him feeling that way now. He had no way of knowing if his Aaron was safe but the idea that he might not be kept Robert awake at night.

 

“I'll head down there right now. Would you tell Sister where I am, please, and then go and get yourself a cuppa.” With that he grabbed his bag and headed for the motor car that was at their disposal.

 

_“Does your family know?” Aaron asked him, running his fingers along his arm._

_“Yeah. When my Dad found out he hit me. I wasn’t leaving for medical school until that Autumn but I couldn't stay after that so I came down here early. I've never gone back. What about yours?”_

_“My mum knows but no one else. She's alright with it, so she says.” He says with a typical Aaron shrug of the shoulders._

Robert can’t help but remember the rare conversation about family, as he pulls up outside the pub and grabs his bag. Victoria meets him at the door and takes him through to the sitting room. His mother is making tea while Chas is perched on a chair, tears streaming down her cheeks and she's gasping for breath. He can see the telegram sitting on the table in front of her.

 

“Chas? Hey, remember me?” He kneels in front of her taking her hand. “I need you to try and calm down ok? You're going to make yourself ill. Try and breathe with me, nice and slowly hmm?” He makes himself breathe deeply and slowly and she starts to calm down. After a few minutes his mum hands him a cup of tea. “Here drink this, slowly.”

 

“Thanks. It was just the telegram…I couldn't…” Robert vaguely hears his Mum send Victoria home and then says she’ll be back later, leaving him and Chas alone.

 

“It's alright, just try and keep calm. Do you mind…?” He gestures to the telegram and she nods. He picks it up, eyes scanning the two short lines of text.

Pte Aaron Livesy reported missing – Letter to follow

 

Robert feels the room spin, heard Chas say something but he couldn't answer her. He knew he had to stay calm, be professional; he can’t fall apart not here.

 

He takes a few deep breaths; tries to put up the front he uses when faced with young men in agony screaming for their mothers, praying out loud for something, anything to help them.

 

“I…sorry…Chas would you like me to try and see if I can find anything out? I know a couple of people at the War Office.” It wasn't as if he wouldn't ask anyway but this way he had an official reason.

 

“Why would you help me? The Robert Sugden I know wouldn't.”

 

“That was ten years ago. So Livesy, not Dingle?”

 

“I use my maiden name. He uses his father’s. Why?” He doesn’t know what to say. He knows she knows about Aaron but there’s a big difference between knowing and meeting the man who loves your son. Then again in the circumstances does it matter?

 

“I…um…Aaron and I, knew each other in London.”

 

“You…” She must see it in his face, “Oh. He mentioned a doctor, never says much our Aaron but he talked a lot about…well you I suppose.” He tries to smile but the façade is cracking and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold it together. He’s just glad his mum and Victoria aren’t still here, can’t deal with them now. “Oh love, come here.” Chas pulls him into a hug and now he lets the tears fall.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“What are you sorry for? I’ve not heard Aaron sound as happy as he has in his letters the past year and that’s obviously because of you.”

 

“I love him Chas, I love him so much.” It’s the first time he’s said it out loud to anyone but Aaron and it feels good that someone knows how much Aaron means to him.

 

“I know love.”

 

“I…I should go, I’ve got patients. I’ll come back later though, make sure you’re ok, if that’s alright?” He says after a few minutes of awkward silence. “You’ll…if you hear anything?” He has to ask, hopes she won’t say no.

 

“Course.”

 

He barely makes it to the car before he breaks down again. His wonderful Aaron. It's not like Robert didn't know what he was facing out in France but he had kidded himself somehow that Aaron would be safe, would come back to him.  Now all he could think of was him lying in a shell hole somewhere, hurt and scared, or worse.

 

**************************

 

Robert pulled himself out of his bed, the thought of another day of patching people up, writing notes and listening to the various complaints that came his way was enough to make him want to go right back to sleep. It had been a week since the telegram arrived. He'd not seen Chas since that night when he called in. He’d been too busy, so many patients to see and not enough hours in the day. His enquiries had gone unanswered from the War Office and there's nothing more he can do except wait and hope.

 

Thankfully his mother and sister were out when he got downstairs. He knew his mother was worried about him and he longed to talk to her but it hurt too much. Maybe when he knew for sure, one way or another he would tell her. Tell her everything, all the places they’d been together, the good times they’d had.

 

After a hasty breakfast he starts the walk up to Home Farm, immediately regretting his decision not to head across the fields when he sees his brother coming towards him.

 

“You're back then.”

 

“Been back a month, not that you'd know.” He isn't in the mood for this.

 

“Rob, look…”

 

“Andy I don't want to fight. I'm tired and I'm late already.” The disappointment on his brother’s face reminds him of his dad and he shivers. “I'll buy you a pint tonight, we’ll talk. How's that?”

 

“Yeah, alright.”

 

Robert carries on, can't think of anything to say. His head is full of Aaron, the times they had together. It's the only thing keeping him going. He knows that chances are Aaron is dead, unidentified somewhere. It's not like Robert doesn't know how it works but until he hears something, or Chas gets another telegram or letter he’ll keep hoping, keep praying.

 

He’s halfway through his shift when they receive a call that there's another set of wounded on route, the hospital in Hotten filled to overflowing. He feels awful for thinking it, but Robert is glad for the distraction as he starts giving orders making sure everything is ready.

 

He watches silently as the stretchers are brought in, his doctors and nurses ready and able to do their jobs. The house is filled to capacity, even his office is now in one of the outbuildings so that the room in the house can be used. As the last ambulance leaves he sighs and heads inside ready to start work.

 

“Alright, someone tell me what we’ve got.”

 

“Male, early twenties, severe head wound, broken arm and leg. The driver told me he was found unconscious not far from the field hospital. They think he made his way there somehow, separated from his unit.” It wasn't unheard of, not much was these days.

 

“Name?”

 

“Livesy, Aaron.” It takes everything Robert has not to react. He takes the paperwork from her, needs to check. The nurse frowns at him even while she checks the ID tags around his neck. He’s not surprised, he doesn’t often question his staff, trusts them to do their jobs properly.

 

“You're certain?” The nurse nods, looks at him oddly. “His mother lives in the village. Let's get him cleaned up and settled then someone send a message down to the pub. Check the dressings, his leg, everything. If he wakes up come and find me.”

 

Once they're busy he leaves, tries to walk calmly to his office where hopefully he can get five minutes peace to fall apart. He knows it's Aaron, he has ID tags after all but he can't be happy until he can talk to him, can hear his voice, knows he’ll be alright. Once he lets the tears come he can't stop.

 

It must be an hour before he feels calm enough to venture back to the house, calm enough to deal with the patients and staff. As he wanders the hallways he finds the nurse he left in charge of Aaron’s care and stops her.

 

“How’s Private Livesy?”

 

“He’s just coming round, sir. I've sent one of the boys down to the village to fetch his mother.”

 

“I'll go check on him now before she gets here.”

 

Thankfully Aaron is in one of the small rooms on his own so Robert opens the door, his heart pounding. Aaron is staring out of the window, doesn't look round as Robert shuts the door.

 

“Well well well Private Livesy, fancy seeing you here!” He can’t help the smile on his face.

 

“Robert? How…?” Aaron looks adorably confused.

 

“You're in Emmerdale. Remember me telling you I was going home, well that's where you are. Sit up.” Robert helps him in, checks his breathing, resisting the urge to kiss him. “Are you in pain?”

 

“Not much. Emmerdale? Really?”

 

“Yeah, small world, huh?” They can talk more later, for now he just wants to take him in, bandaged head, broken limbs and all.

 

“I don't remember getting here.”

 

“Probably the pain relief you had to get you here. You've had a good bang to the head. A few days you'll be as right as rain.” Robert sits on the bed, avoiding Aaron's injured leg. “God I was so scared. I've sent someone to get your mum, she’ll be here soon.”

 

“You met my mum?”

 

“Yeah. I didn't know who she was then, obviously. Your mum got a bit upset so Vic called me to help. Saw the telegram and I swear my heart stopped.” He presses a hand to Aaron’s face, leans in to kiss him.

 

“What the hell is going on here?” Comes an all too familiar voice from behind him. He tries to sit up but Aaron holds onto him with his uninjured arm.

 

“Mum, shut the door.” Thankfully she does and Robert makes himself get up from the bed when all he wants to do is keep hold of Aaron and never let go. “Mum, I told you there was someone I liked,” Robert looks up from trying to hide his smile, sees Aaron staring back at him, grinning. “I told you how much he meant to me. Well this is him.”

 

“Robert Sugden.” He hears Aaron's quiet moan, “Robert flaming Sugden. Of all the men you could have picked, you had to pick him!” She can’t help laughing now and as soon as Aaron realizes why he pushes her away. “Aaron I’m kidding, he told me, when we heard you were missing.”

 

“I’m injured here and you’re winding me up…nice!”

 

“Oh son, I was so worried. We both were.” She hugs him until he groans, looks back at Robert with a smile. “He's not so bad, I suppose.”

 

Robert walks over, leans down to kiss Aaron gently. “I've got patients to see. I'll come back later. Don't tire him out Chas, he needs rest. You,” He says pointing at Aaron, “Behave!”

 

As he goes about his work it takes him a while to realize the strange looks he’s getting are because he’s smiling so much.

 

********************************

 

Three Weeks Later

 

That evening when he’s finished his shift, Robert heads back to Keeper’s Cottage knowing Aaron would be waiting for him. He had introduced him to his mum and explained everything to Victoria and they often invited Aaron over for tea and tonight was one of those nights.

 

“Hey.” He hears Aaron as he walks up the path. He’s sitting in one of his mother’s garden chairs, broken leg propped up on another, cup of tea on the table. He looks completely at home. Knowing the garden is pretty sheltered he risks bending down to kiss Aaron on the forehead. “You feeling alright?”

 

He’d spent a week in the hospital before moving into the pub with Chas. It was still a bit awkward with her but it was getting easier. The only downside was Robert having to work such long hours meaning they didn’t get that much time together.

 

“I’m fine. Stop fussing.”

 

“I’m a doctor, it’s what I do.”

 

“I still can’t believe you told Mum about us?” Aaron says as he sits beside his chair on the grass. Robert knew why Aaron was taking so long to get used to Chas knowing about them. They’d always been so careful, had to be, but Robert was much more paranoid about it than Aaron so he could understand the shock.

 

“I told you. Some things are more important. You’re more important. When I thought I’d lost you…I don’t ever want to feel that again.” Robert wants to hold him but knows someone could pass by at any time.

 

“I know, I just never thought it would happen. Never thought I’d get to meet your family. You never talked about them.” Robert hadn’t, it had been too painful.

 

“Too much went on.” Robert had told him everything that first night in the hospital, about his Dad, about Katie, everything. “God I’m tired.” He lays back on the grass enjoying the evening sun on his face.

 

“Well being a tyrant takes it out of you. You’ve got a reputation you know.”

 

“Oi! My patients love me.”

 

“That’s what they tell you.” He laughs, can’t help staring at Aaron. He thought he’d lost this, thought he’d never see him again. Now he wasn’t going to let him out of his sight, not if he could help it.

 

“Pack it in.” He risks taking Aaron’s hand where it rests on the chair. “Aaron…”

 

“It’s alright now, I’m ok, not going anywhere.” Robert knows that. He does, but it doesn’t stop the nightmares, the fear that one day he will lose him.

 

“I love you.” He chokes out, tears threatening to fall again.

 

“I love you too.” Robert risks one more kiss, can’t help himself.

 

Whatever the future holds, whatever comes their way, they’re together.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr  @nooneelsecomesclose17


End file.
